OK, you're mad. What do you do?
Well, you can eat it, be nicy nice, and talk the politically correct talk -- but your stomach knows better. And someone keeps looking back at you from the mirror who you can never take seriously. Someone you've seen, perhaps, most of your life.
Or, you can "express your feelings"! Step right out there and say it like it is (at least for you). But . . . sometimes that has lots of interpersonal consequences, doesn't it?
The thing about anger is that we don't get to plan it. Nobody "counts down" to being upset. It just grabs you, like a hiccup or sneeze. Suddenly, you're seething and only THEN do we do an intervention on ourselves (or not).
"Hey, let this turkey have it. He/she asked for it!"
"No, play the game -- it's always better in the long run."
And then the second thoughts. We all know about second thoughts, don't we?
"Oh, oh, now why did I say or do that? Perhaps I just should have just kept it to myself after all."
OK, time for yours truly to be pig in the middle:
I recently wrote a piece about election fraud. I actually tried to cancel the piece (second thoughts!) but I sent in the request too late. Was I upset about election fraud? You bet. In fact, probably a hundred times more than it showed in that submission since I love my country and don't want to see our democratic elections stolen from us.
So what's the problem? The problem is that anger is CONFUSING. Probably the most important thing of all about anger is that you don't get to meet in on your terms. Remember John Lennon’s, "Life is what really happens to us while we're making other plans"? That's anger . . . and love and car accidents. But when you get right down to it, isn't that what life is like ALL the time? We love to think we're in control of events (or at least spectators), but that's just a game Homo sapiens play.
Goethe had Faust speak of "Plunging into the flood of fate". But as opposed to what? We love to think most of us are on the bank watching the courageous (or reckless) few in the flood, but isn't the truth that ALL of us are in the flood, but most of us are pretending we're on the bank? The flood of confusion, the flood of NEVER being "one up".
And yes, I'm still furious about election fraud! And yes, I still have second thoughts about writing that piece. Jeez.